Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
