I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize