I'm drive I can fine osifer
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
