I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so let's talk penis.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
