maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
