Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
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All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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