I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
