I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
