my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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