he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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