I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
