i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
