Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
