I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize