Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
