he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
