The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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