As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize