my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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