I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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