Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Too much gin, very little bucket
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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