Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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