I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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