Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
