I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
