Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
