Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
