What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Watching her eat just hurts me
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
