It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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