I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
false alarm, still single
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