I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
