video games are the ultimate cock blocker
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
