So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
