I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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