we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
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I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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