Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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