Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
