would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Sober January is a disaster.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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