I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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