i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Randomize
