Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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