Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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