you guys were way drunker than both of me
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
