yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.