How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
