did you get engaged???
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
