Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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