I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
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Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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