I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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