Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
