i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
