Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
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My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
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I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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