Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
