you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
