My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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