my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I met the friendliest cop last night
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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