and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
